Future Wheel is currently undergoing a radical re-haul.
How long has it been? Too long. Sorry we are bad at updating but there will be sketches along soon just you wait and see.
In our absence some important news has come to light. You may (or may not) remember that Stuart and I (Alexander William Holland) made a sketch show at university with the delightful Michael Henry and the insatiable Daryll Gregory. It went on to win a Midlands Royal Television Society Award. Yeah, sound familiar.
Well since our disappearance we’ve only bloomin’ gone and won another one. This time we won the National RTS Awards for Best Undergraduate Entertainment. This means that out of every other undergraduate entertainment based show entered into the awards in the country ours was the most gratifyingly entertaining. Hooray, we are the best!
To celebrate us being great at having laughs, Stu and I went out and bought a whole bucket of KFC (I don’t think they even make those) and then smeared our award in various secret seasonings and grease.
We’ve made an audio sketch. For those of you shaking your big fists at the screen and screaming “What the hell is one of those!?” I can tell you that it’s a sketch exactly like any of our other sketches except with a negative visual output reading where usually it would be positive.
Go and have a listen to it and feel free to not use your eyes at all for the duration, you can even just take them out and put them somewhere else because you certainly won’t be needing them for this.
Remember to bother the ‘funny’ button if you enjoy it.
A new sketch has arrived, and not a moment too soon either. It’s just a nice short one that will hopefully help you through the day so that when you get to that point where you go “AGH! I’m literally going to blow my top if I don’t get to watch a little sketch by Future Wheel!” you can instead watch a little sketch by Future Wheel.
Now then, have at it and give it an eyes ‘n’ ears treatment.
I have put here the FunnyorDie link so that if you like it you can SLAM home the ‘funny’ button and save us from relegation to the ‘not very funny’ pile.
Our apologies as Future Wheel has been particularly quiet recently. We are still mostly alive, able and willing but factors such as geography have prevented the filming of any more sketches at present. We intend to remedy this as soon as possible when you’ll get to see a new wave of sketches.
Let me just say as well that for our next set of sketches we intend to increase our budget from 0 pounds to ‘some’ pounds. Allow me to put that in perspective. You’ll remember that neither one of us really wore a hat in the last sketches we did, well, perhaps in these next ones we’ll wear the biggest hat you’ve ever seen. Perhaps.
Now you know what to look forward to
I’ve been going through our fan mail recently (it’s a pretty heavy task but I thought I should at least try and make a dent in it) and thought it was about time I answered some of the main questions that seem to keep coming up. I have listed them below in no particular order. If one of your questions hasn’t been answered hopefully I will get to it next time.
1) How do you get good at writing? Some people are born good at writing, others have to work hard at it. Stuart and I get around both of these problems by never writing anything. Instead we have a computer write everything for us and then we just read it in funny voices.
2) What hair products (if any) do you use? This one is quite easy. Stuart uses ‘Zing Zing muscle wax’ whereas I (Alex) just burn a couple of scented candles and sing to my hair until it does what I want.
3) If you had to be any sort of animal what sort would it be? We would both be a Cheater with two brains, one each.
4) The BBC is missing a trick not commissioning you don’t you think? I certainly do
Anyway I hope that’s cleared some things up.
In a much anticipated move, the about section has been updated. This change however is not without consequence. Undoubtedly this is good news for the integrity of the website as a whole and for any of you who were eager to finally put to bed the mystery of this ‘future Wheel’ stuff you’ve been hearing everyone talking about.
However as lady change is not without a sense of ruthlessness, there are repercussions. The joke that I made in my very first post about an un-edited about section will now be lost on anyone that hadn’t come to the Future Wheel website before this post. A shame I know.
However, to those of you did manage to experience the joke in it’s full glory, we now share something rare and wonderful. Imagine, if you will, we are at a party. We can talk of the about section joke and how good it made us feel, then another party-goer might saunter over to get in on what seems to be a conversation that only a fool wouldn’t want to be a part of. The party-goer will ask anxiously, “What are you guys talking about?” and then one of us can inform him that we are talking about the much fabled about section joke. His expression will then change from that of a happy man to a much more morose projection of feeling. “Oh.” he will begin ” I hadn’t discovered the website by then.” Then, knowing full well he’ll never quite fit into this conversation on the same level as us, he will leave, in search of conversations about Future Wheel’s website that were not before his time. We on the other hand, will look at each other with a very self satisfied sense of smugness, Because we know about something that only a handful of people in the world know about.
And for those of you who were unfortunately to late for the joke, I understand how upon reading this you might be left saying “What about me? what good can I take from this situation?” Fear not, for if you ever find yourself bored of life because you have experienced all there is to experience in this world. Now you will always have this to try and be a part of, I suggest trying to invent time travel so that you can go back to the time of the websites creation, thus being fully aware of the joke. Or a machine that can transport memories from one head to another, it’s up to you.